What to get in place before your Wedding Day

Planning your big day is one of the most exciting times you'll ever experience. Daydreaming about your dress, walking down the aisle or the first dance with your hubby-to-be might just become your new normal.

But before your head is taken over by these flashes of your big day, also remember to get the below important things in place before you get married:

[1] Verify your marital status

Identity theft is a reality, so to avoid any big last minute surprises, ensure that you are not married by verifying your marital status. This can be done via a SMS - SMS the letter M, followed by your ID number to 32551 (eg. M 1234567891234). Should you not receive a SMS back within the next day or two, try sending it again, or try sending it from a different cellphone number.

[2] Marriage officer documentation

Make sure to ask your marriage officer exactly what documentation he/she needs from you for the marriage certificate and registry. This is generally you and your spouse's ID and the names of two witnesses (that will sign on the day), together with their IDs.

Pro tip: you might need a few copies of your marriage certificate when changing your surname, getting travel benefits on your honeymoon etc. Ask your marriage officer if he/she is able to make you a few copies and also certify them for you. He/she might be able to do it beforehand, and give it to you on your wedding day.

[3] Antenuptial Contract

It is crucial that both yourself and your fiancé discuss how you want to get married. The best is always to consult a lawyer and discuss all your concerns, or terms you might be unsure of.

You can find a great document here explaining the difference between Out of Community of Property, Out of Community of Property with Accrual and In Community of Property.

Pro tip: people are sometimes wary of choosing the "with accrual" option when one spouse wants to start their own business. This should however not be the only deciding factor and is important to discuss with a lawyer first. Remember that with accrual, you are still not liable for your spouse's debt. Debt will only come into play when calculating each spouse's individual estate when getting a divorce, meaning that their estate might be worth less than yours.

When starting a business, you also have options such as registering it as a private company. This means that the owner(s) are not held liable for company debt. There are therefore many ways in which to protect you and your spouse from debt, without having to get married without the accrual system. A lawyer can give the best advise for this.

[4] Budget

Some of, if not the biggest fights in marriage happen due to finances. Who pays for what, spending habits etc. It is therefore important that you and your fiancé discuss your budget before getting married.

Draw up an excel sheet with your income and expenses and then decide who will be paying for what. Also decide on what savings or investments you will have, and who will pay money into those accounts. And when you are allowed to spend money out of those accounts. When everything is laid out on black and white, it helps you avoid fights in the future as each party is aware and in agreement as to what they are paying for, what they are allowed to spend monthly, and where, and for what money is saved.

Pro tip: always be open about finances and set certain boundaries that each party should adhere to. For example: if one spouse wants to buy something above a certain pre-determined high value (for example R5 000), it has to be consulted with and approved by the other spouse first.

[5] Discuss and align important topics

It is sad that there are so many couples being unhappily married, or getting divorced due to differences they should have discussed before getting married. These topics are vital and should be discussed and agreed on before tying the knot.

View the list here.

Pro tip: create a relaxing environment when talking through the list by doing it over a nice cheese or food platter and a glass of wine. Your goal should be a mutually happy marriage where both spouse's needs are met. This will take compromise, but should come from both spouses and not just one.